Hard Candy.

Wow that was an incredible movie. And you know - I don't like a lot of movies. I enjoyed "Juno" but didn't really feel like seeing it again - maybe I will in a few years. But I want to see "Hard Candy" again. Full disclosure: I watched it on YouTube, and have been playing the last part over and over because I love it. I love it.

[Warning: spoilers after this point]

I just love the character of Hayley - a character who is nearly impossible to pull off, but Ellen Page does it. Somehow she convinces us that Hayley is both an evil mastermind and a fourteen-year-old girl. Although we are constantly impressed by her ingenuity in - er - everything, we don't doubt that she's really fourteen. At the very end of the movie, when we realize we know absolutely nothing about her, we actually do know that she is just a teenager. And that's awesome, because frankly movies - especially thriller-ish movies - really need more young women who aren't complete idiots. I don't know if Hayley is really an ideal role model for fourteen-year-old girls ... or maybe she is. She is, arguably, evil. Maybe? Maybe not. But she is definitely powerful.


I just loved the fact that we knew nothing about Hayley at the end. I was frustrated by it, of course; I wanted the movie to continue and find out where she was going after this, whether she would strike again or simply return to a normal life somewhere, if she would become a doctor or maybe a forensic psychologist - who then tracked down and attacked criminals - but then again ... I didn't want to know. Nothing that the movie could offer us as to Hayley's true identity could be as cool as what we can imagine. I don't think she was a figment of Jeff's imagination (that was an M. Night Shyalamamadingdong twist that I considered for maybe twenty seconds) because she exists even after he's dead. Also, because that would be lame.


No, I think the movie is perfect the way it is, leaving us in complete mystery as to Hayley's identity and even her motives. Did she know the girl that Jeff killed? Perhaps. Perhaps not. I suspected so throughout the movie, which gave it an interesting edge; I'd be pretty much willing to do everything that Hayley did to someone that I knew killed my best friend, although I doubt I would be brave or smart enough to pull it off. I'm really not sure whether the movie is more compelling if you think that Hayley did know Donna or if you think that she didn't. Her motives are certainly more obscure if you think that she didn't.


Then there is the question of whether Hayley herself was the victim of a pedophile earlier in her life. Like the question of whether or not she knew Donna, the answer is important, but the fact that it is not given only enriches the movie - just like the fact that hardly any gore is shown only makes the horror-ish parts of the movie more horrifying. I say "horror-ish" because, of course, there is no real gore. It's only important that you think that something horrifying is happening, which is really true of all horror movies. Jeff is like anyone watching a horror movie, believing - at least on some level - that it is real, even though it's not. We, as the audience watching "Hard Candy," are caught in a double illusion. We think we are watching actors simulate real horror, only to realize that we were watching actors simulate simulating real horror. That's cool.


Yeah, and if you can tell, I've spent all my articulate wordy-words on my schoolwork this week, so "That's cool" is pretty much all I can say about that. It was cool. The movie was cool. You should watch it, and tell me whether you think it's cool too. Of course, if you've read everything I've had to say about it, I hope you've already seen it, because otherwise you are now spoiled. That's okay, though. I read the whole synopsis on Wikipedia before I watched "Hard Candy," and I still loved it. Then again, I'm not someone who's spoiled by spoilers. Finding out what happens in a movie often makes me want to see it more. That's just me, though.

Well, that's all. I'm off to simulate someone who has a work ethic.

Pilgrims.

Fun fact: my ancestors were at the first Thanksgiving. Do you think they were Pilgrims or Indians? Take a guess. I'll tell you the answer at the end of this post.

Here's some shit that went down this week:

1) Star Crossed Slouchy Beret by Natalie Larson. On my fat head, it's not nearly as slouchy as it's supposed to be, but I still love it. I've made three of them. Since Friday. I'm a nut.




2) Miss Tetocat!


3) I discovered black and gray squirrels freely associating on the lawn in front of the president's house. No, not the President. The president of our college. The White House, incidentally, was not desegregated until 1948. It may actually have been desegregated before then, but I think Woodrow Wilson resegregated it. Then Truman redesegregated it. Or something.




4) I scoured looking for patterns to knit over winter break. Yes, I'm already thinking ahead to winter break even though I haven't even finished my projects for this semester. I have to have something to motivate me. Here are some pictures of what I hope to accomplish:






And lastly, Happy Thanksgiving!

Answer: Both. I'm directly descended from William Brewster (1559-1644) and his wife, Mary Wentworth Brewster (1565-1627) who came over on the Mayflower. I'm also directly descended from Quadequina or Ora Daguina, the brother of Massasoit, a Wampanoag sachem.

UPDATE: A note about the patterns - they are all from Ravelry, which is amazing but only accessible to members. I've provided links to the patterns that are available outside of Ravelry. If you're into knitting I would suggest becoming a member; it's free and it's awesome. The patterns are:

1. Baby Cables and Big Ones Too Sweater by Suvi S. (available through Ravelry for $6.00)

2. Tornado Mittens/Gloves by Mira Ranki (available through Ravelry for free)

3. Olympic wristwarmers by Alexandra Brinck (available through Ravelry for free)

4. Calorimetry headband by Kathryn Schoendorf (available through Ravelry for free and on Knitty for free)

5. Three Hour Sweater, which is a vintage pattern from the 1930s; you can get it for free here.

Hilarious.

I've loved the MadTV sketch "How to Telephone a Girl" for a while. Today I came across the 1947 film "Are You Popular?" and was surprised to see some very clear parallels between them. I think you'll enjoy them. Here are both:

Red Nails and Gray Fur.

This weekend, I ...

1) Painted my nails red. This rarely ever happens. I'm not that good at painting my nails - or at least the nails of my right hand. The nails on my left hand look pretty good. The nails on my right look like a five-year-old did them. Which makes sense, given that the motor skills of my left hand are roughly equivalent to that of a five-year-old's. Also, painted nails and printmaking do not get along very well, unless the nail polish color is black, which hides the ink stains if you're doing intaglio. Moving on ...




2) Knitted a hat for my friend as a holiday present that I don't want to give her. This is good. I know that I've done a good job if I don't want to give a knitted item away. If I don't want to keep it for myself, I figure that I haven't made it well enough and should try again. I can't show you any pictures of the hat, though, just in case my friend sees this blog - even though she knows what it's going to look like because she picked out the pattern, I still want it to be a quasi-surprise.

3) Hung out with my Teto. I loves her.



4) Blocked my sweater.


I don't know what that crap on the floor under the sweater is, but it's been there for eons. Usually it's covered up by a rug.

Cobblestone.

Now that I've made a sweater (which I blocked this weekend, so that it no longer has all the wrinkles and shit in it that it had when I photographed it last week), I feel comfortable calling myself an intermediate knitter. Or at least an advanced beginner. Nah, I'll say intermediate, given that I know how to do cables and shit. Of course, as with everything I do, as soon as I start to feel proficient at knitting I come across someone whose work makes me look like a fucking amateur. Check out the shit made by Jared Flood, who incidentally made the Cobblestone pullover pattern I knitted my sweater from:

1. Spiral Yoke Pullover (pattern by Meg Swanson)



2. Druid Mittens (pattern by Jared Flood)



3. Adult Tomten Jacket (pattern by Jared Flood)



4. Saddle Shoulder Aran Cardigan (pattern by Meg Swanson)



5. Smokin' (pattern by Jared Flood)



6. Komi Mittens (pattern by Charlene Schurch)


Um, yeah. I read his entire blog (2005-present; I'm not too much of a stalker) yesterday. He's made more sweaters in three years than I own. It's ridiculous; it really is. I don't know what else to say about that except that I'd love to be his friend at Christmas.

Also, I have several of Jared's patterns in my Ravelry queue (that's where you put the projects you're planning to make), so you can look forward to seeing my attempts at them in the future. I'm looking forward to trying the Druid mittens someday when I know how to make bobbles and can comprehend how the cuff works; for now his Morningside Neckwarmer is my next Jared Flood project and shouldn't be much of a challenge. Further up on my list is the Baby Cables and Big Ones Too sweater, which is not one of Jared's patterns but I think really resembles the Cobblestone in that it has a garter stitch yoke. It's knit top down, which I'm interested to try.

And no, you can't see any of these patterns unless you're a Ravelry member; sorry! I'll be sure to post pictures of my projects in the future.

Teto is an Australopithecus.

Miss Teto is helping me write my final paper. Here's an excerpt; see if you can guess which part I wrote and which part she wrote.

Two million years after the appearance of the first hominids, the Australopithecine genus gave way to qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq AEKMEM ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

UPDATE: Our second draft:

Two million years after the appearance of the first hominids, the Australopithecine genus gave way to 22wwwwwwwwwwwwwwww]]]]]]]]]]ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwe3 []]]]]]]a larger-brained, 1

Items of interest.

First - and I know all of you are eagerly awaiting this news - my African violets are still flourishing. Just look at them:


I don't think any plant has ever flourished under my care. I'm not sure what I'm doing differently this time. Maybe it's the heat? They're right next to the radiator; maybe they like that? I don't know. They don't even get that much sunlight. Whatever.

There's that, and this:


My great-great grandfather wrote his name in that barn. Because it was his barn. Erm.

Yeah, there's really not that much to say, because I haven't been doing much except end-of-semester projects. My apologies if the next few weeks my posts are boring and/or nonexistent.

First Sweater.

Here it is. I finished it this morning.





Some close-up pictures:



I'm quite pleased with it.

Notes:

-This is actually a men's sweater; the pattern is the Cobblestone pullover by Jared Flood. With some adjustments I was able to make my sweater smaller than the smallest size (39" chest) available, ending up with an approximately 36" chest. That is still pretty big for me, but I didn't want a fitted sweater. Basically I just wanted a sweater, period.

-The way the yoke is constructed makes it very, very easy to knit. There's very little to join at the end, although once I learned Kitchener stitch I realized that it wasn't that difficult and it wouldn't have been that big a deal if I had had to join more.

-I still don't understand short rows. I mean, I get what they're for and how to do them, but I guess the hard part is figuring out how to properly knit the wrapped stitch once I get back to it. I kept ending up with holes where I thought I had properly knit the wrapped stitch. Fortunately they're not that obvious. I might fix them later, but for now I don't think anyone will notice them.

-The collar just barely fits over my enormous cranium. Barely.

-This is a very good first sweater. I was really worried that I wouldn't be up to the challenge, but once I finished it I realized that I could have easily made this sweater six months ago or more, when I was even less experienced. I had already mastered the majority of the skills involved, and the new skills I had to learn weren't that difficult. I found them easier to learn than cables (which are not hard!).

-The yarn (Knit Picks merino style) is sooo nice.

And more pictures, this time courtesy of Photobooth:

Childhood art.

Today in my psychology class we were talking about children's art. Although all of the children's work we looked at in class was fascinating, none of these children were apparently on as many hallucinogenic drugs as I was at their age.

Case in point:





My personal favorite: Osvaldo, of course.

Bonus: the first page from my autobiography, circa 1993 (age 4). It says, "This is Mama when Maddie was in her stomach." It features my mom, my grandma, my dad, and our four cats, two of which we had not adopted at the time I was born, but whatever. And in case you're wondering, yes, two of the cats are unhappy. I am not sure why. Maybe they don't want an addition to the family?

Shit.

Researchers in Berlin say they have found a cure for AIDS that has been used successfully on an American man living in Germany. The man, who had both leukemia and AIDS, had his immune system destroyed with radiation before receiving a blood stem cell transplant from a naturally AIDS-immune donor. The high risks involved in the radiation treatment prevent the cure from being practical for the vast majority of AIDS patients, however, as well as the difficulty in finding an appropriate donor, who must be both a tissue match with the patient and possess the genetic mutation responsible for AIDS immunity (an estimated 10% of the population has this mutation).

But, um, this is still fucking awesome? It means a cure is possible, and perhaps not as far away as we thought. What I want to know is: is the man who received the cure now immune to AIDS for life (assuming that he lives; so far it's been 20 months since the treatment)? Can the cure be modified to be a vaccine for uninfected people as well as a treatment for people who already have AIDS? And lastly: What the fuck, America? Are you going to let Europe be the best in everything now? Get on this! Start curing the AIDS! I'll knit a hat for the first researcher to create a successful and practical cure. You can do it, America! Even though my bet's on Europe.

Etsy Love.

So, I'm stealing blatantly from Alex, but I know she won't mind. In extension of Alex's "I know I shouldn't get this" theme, I have no money. Printmaking has eaten it all up. That shit is expensive. Also, knitting, although it isn't nearly as expensive and is actually money-saving for me because I can make Christmas presents out of it. Of course, I can also make Christmas presents out of printmaking, too, but it's unlikely to cover the cost of materials and such. Sigh.

But let's pretend I have money for a moment, so that I can pick out all the things I would buy.

Like these, for example. They are so dear:


Four Seasons mini cups, baileydoesn'tbark, $59.

A few months ago, I would call these prints awesome. Now that I'm a printmaking master, I will say that the registration on these prints is awesome.


Rock, Paper, Scissors print, Alisha Gould, $30.

There's nothing like a brooch that lets both the gray and the black squirrels on campus that they're both inadequate:


Red squirrel pin, Lupin, $14.50.

This dress is incredible:


Winter gray jersey dress, Lemonstory, $100.

And so is this pillow, which I can imagine cuddling as I wait to find out whether I get into the Oxford program ...

Union Jack pillow, Karen Hilton designs, $68.